Eric Conn, a lawyer many in Eastern Kentucky trusted despite him having ‘Con’ right there in his last name, has disappeared according to the FBI on Saturday.

While the FBI held a press conference to explain the disappearance, they regrettably didn’t divulge what type of magic the attorney used to disappear, however they explained that they are still hopeful they can find him.

“We found that he removed the electronic monitoring device he was required to wear by law, which stinks because if he’d have kept that on, we’d be able to find him a lot easier,” began FBI officer Thomas L. Jones.

Jones continued, “Look, him ditching that ankle bracelet was a real bummer for us, because Eric C. Conn can run but he can also hide;no one knows where is is, that’s what we call hiding for any of you not in law enforcement.” The FBI claimed they had some leads, “We’re fairly certain he’s out there looking for, who he says, is ‘the one armed man that framed him.’ I dunno if he’ll find him though, because Conn himself pleaded guilty, so I dunno how he was framed really.”

After the press conference Jones gathered the officers around and yelled out to them, “What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, Residence Inn, Men’s Wearhouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, or any old regular house that has Netflix showing new episodes of House of Cards and houseboat in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Eric C Conn. Go get him.”

While Eric C. Conn was not available for comment at press time, he had left a voicemail on our office phone that included heavy breathing and the message, “I didn’t kill my wife.” Which we were confused by as no one had said he had.