While members of the Morgan family weren’t surprised by the length of the elaborate blessing given by the law firms founder, John Morgan, at the family’s Thanksgiving feast, everyone was clearly caught off guard when Morgan abruptly ended it with, “for the people”, instead of the more traditional prayer closer, “Amen.” Sources say the prayer was a real rollercoaster ride, covering everything from blessing the hands that prepared the food to stories of Morgan listening to UK games on the radio in his dad’s hot car with the windows rolled up and no AC, which is perfectly legal in his home state of Florida.

“None of us were exactly sure what his old childhood stories had to do with Thanksgiving dinner,” said one anonymous Morgan son whose name totally isn’t Dan Morgan, “then again, those stories don’t have anything to do with practicing law either, but that doesn’t stop him from adding them to his radio ads, which are totally not the worst thing airing on the radio.”

John Morgan, who is a huge proponent for the legalization of medical marijuana, spent most the dinner and dessert time telling stories of yesteryear to his wife, kids and son’s girlfriend Ashley. However, at one point, everyone around the table, Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Morgan and Ashley, had dozed off. “My family loves my stories,” Morgan assured the press, “but between how hard we work ‘for the people’ and all that tryptophan in the turkey, guess that’ll make anyone tired.”

Morgan also insisted the brownies he baked, which made everyone hungry for seconds, were completely normal. “Brownies have a bunch of tryptophan in them too.”

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