Today is apparently some kind of primary election, and those are usually very important. We’re not sure today is, but head on down to your local voting location anyway, and see if they’ll let you participate. But before you leave remember these 10ish things.

1. If you vote for Hillary don’t post about it on social media, these places are “Bernie or Bust” territory.
2. If you can’t vote remember to make your own ‘I Voted’ sticker so your friends don’t find out you’re a Republican.
3. Sharing a Bernie Sanders meme does not count as a vote.
4. You can vote by texting VOTE and the name of the person you would like to vote for to 5709.*
5. Check on Bill Clinton as you leave the polls, he has been looking for a ride on Short Street since Thursday Night Live.
6. Bernie Sanders has promised to fill our abandoned coal mines with tuition-free colleges.
7. Hillary plans to make victory speech from inside her future cell at Kentucky Correctional Institution for Women.
8. Your pool pass might count as an ID if your buddy Terry is working the polling place.
9. Election day liquor laws were repealed recently, so have fun out there everybody.

*Standard data and messaging rates may apply