“War is hell, but this is worse,” said decorated Army veteran James McGill as he sat down his fork after taking a bite of the complimentary Fiesta Lime Chicken.

“I really appreciate what Applebee’s is doing here,” said Terry Wyatt, a veterans association leader. “I appreciate them trying to recreate the wartime experience so that people can better appreciate what we went through, but I’m just not ready to relive the experience yet.”

“You ever open up an MRE and have everything blended together and you only get one flavor?” asked Daniel Castillo, marine. “No? Me either. So how does Applebee’s have an entire menu that has one flavor?” He tossed the offer for a free Veteran’s Day meal in the trash. “I may have a Purple Heart, but I don’t have an iron stomach.”

“These riblets are drier than Desert Storm,” McGill said, turning some charred meat over on his plate. He stood up and thanked the server for the offer and for his effort but said, “I’ll just go pay full price at Roosters. It might cost more but at least they care about food. And they’re like a more patriotic Hooters anyway.”