Governor Matt Bevin’s new Medicaid subscription plan has many Kentuckians scrambling to find someone that already has an existing Medicaid account whose password they can use. With Bevin taking a page out of the popular Netflix business model, Kentuckians will be paying a monthly subscription fee, which they most likely can’t afford, hence them being on Medicaid. The plan calls for Kentuckians to pay a monthly fee between $1 and $15 based on their income. So, for instance, if you’re just above the poverty line, you obviously will be paying the maximum under the current proposal.
Many Kentuckians we spoke with who can’t afford their own account are concerned about getting access to a Medicaid plan. “I’m having trouble,” explains Uncle Terry, “finding someone who has already met their deductible so I can use their password. It’s already been three days and I gotta get this lawn mower blade removed from my leg, preferably with no out-of-pocket costs. And I can’t sign up for a 30 day free trial because I already did that last month when I thought I broke my femur. Turned out I was just a little gassy.”
Some Medicaid users have spent quite a bit of time browsing through all the different options that the new plan offers, but can never decide on one. With so many choices such as ‘Historical Doctor-mentaries’, ‘Diabetes With A Strong Female Lead’ and ‘Alien Sci-Fi’, some users are finding themselves suffering from panic attacks and sleep deprivation. Others aren’t buying it. “Look, I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy enough to know,” tells Medicaid nurse Jackie, “when someone is suffering from actual anxiety or when they’ve just been binge watching their insurance premium rates go up all weekend.”
One new feature that Bevin’s plan offers is for citizens with pre-existing conditions. “Yeah, when I logged in,” reported Medicaid customer John Cue,” it told me, ‘because you liked having a pre-existing condition, you might also like being denied for most claims.’ And then it wouldn’t let me view which general hospitals I could go to to have my pacemaker and sleep apnea mask checked, because it said I had too many devices going to review my account.”
While most Kentuckians agree, this plan is going to financially cripple many struggling families, others are looking for ways to find more affordable healthcare. Some Kentuckians have been able to switch over to HMO GO, while others are left to BitTorrent their medication. “I’m just hoping to get on one of them premium subscriptions,” says Uncle Terry, “so I don’t have to sit through all those magazine ads in the doctor’s waiting room.”