Meteorologist Bill Meck incited fear amongst citizens, ire from conservatives and a feeling of inevitability amid liberals this morning when he release his weekend forecast that included a Nostradomas-esque foretelling of the end times on Friday. Meck also unnecessarily included a rather apathetic forecast for Saturday for any potential survivors. With the President-Elect Donald Trump all set to lose a name from that title tomorrow, Meck and other prognosticators are fearful of what lies ahead, and not just of standard weather patterns.

“People are debating whether or not this President believes in climate change,” Meck began, “first of all, OF COURSE there is climate change. Just yesterday the high was 64 degrees, and today it’s 57. I’ve built a pretty nice life for myself and family talking about how the climate will change every day. I really don’t understand the debate, but regardless, his opinion won’t matter after tomorrow, as there won’t be a climate.”

Meck began to smile as he silently stared deep into the middle distance before he continued, “In a perfect world, we’d get rid of this darn rain, grab a little sunshine, and pull our loved ones close to us and tell them how much we love them, and how they make everything in our lives worthwhile,” the loveable and trusted meteorologist paused a moment, “BUT NOOO. NUCLEAR WINTER IS UPON US NOW! EAT THE LAST DONUT PEOPLE, THERE WILL BE NO REPERCUSSIONS.” He continued yelling about the end of days as he walked away slowly from the LEX18 studio into a 40% chance of drizzling rain.