The Kentucky Derby is this weekend and many in the Chevy Chase area have accepted their fates as bad horse gamblers by saying their weekend expectations include “Bourbon n’ to lose.”

A man wandering the streets eating red beans and rice gave us his own unsolicited derby preview. “You wanna win? Bet on Crystal” he said squeezing a red condiment bottle directly into his mouth. This was interesting advice considering the fact that there aren’t any derby day race entrants by that name.

Another Chevy Chase resident whom we deduced was a horse gambler based on his fedora, pointed at a man reading the Daily Racing Forum and told us, “that guy over there, he told me to bet all my money on that Gronkowski horse, but that thing isn’t even in the race. Turns out he’s just a jumbo liar.”

“I’m not some kind of rich guy that throws a lot of money around,” the man continued. “I’m just a po’ boy, I need no sympathy, cuz it’s easy come, easy go. So yeah I’ll probably lose some money, but I’ll have so much bourbon I won’t care.”