Plans for the city of Lexington to purchase the Central Library on East Main Street and convert it into another building no one cares about were released Tuesday. In a joint statement, city official Sally Hamilton and director of the Lexington Public Library, Ann Hammond, announced the city wants to buy the five story building and flip it into a new City Hall & Oates venue. However, against former vice mayor Jim Gray’s better wishes, Hamilton says it would most likely just be converted into a new City Hall.

While many were surprised by the announcement, the staff at Central Library were not. “When you see the mountain of late fees the city of Lexington as accrued over the years, you realize it actually makes good financial sense,” according to staff member Dewey Driscall. “Their late fees on “Creating Gridlock For Dummies” alone will probably cause them to break even on the deal.”

Head librarian Ann Hammond acknowledged Tuesday that library services have changed since they moved to its current location back in 1989 when people actually read books. She added, “Outside of being a killer Poke Stop, the Main Street library does not meet the current service needs for the community such as renting DVDs and checking email when their laptop or wifi aren’t working at home.”

Hammond also assured citizens Central Library would not permanently close but simply just relocate. Initial plans had the building location moving to the west side of town in order to open a Library of Alexandria Drive but blueprints were lost back in February in a small, stockyard fire.

Early designs for the new City Hall are underway to determine the best functionality of the building for the city. Sources say the initial proposal has the Centre Point Project Committee moving to where the Fiction section originally was, the Retirement & Social Security Committee would take over where the Young Adult Fiction was located and former vice mayor Jim Gray’s office would be constructed where his autobiography, 50 Shades of Gray, was displayed.

Jim Gray also added, “while there are no plans to tear down or even completely gut the current structure, I do intend to ride that pendulum thing every day like I’m in a Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball” video, baby.”