Darryl Isaacs spent the weekend mounting a large scale production for his latest commercial, one aimed at helping the victims of knock off eclipse glasses file a class action lawsuit against the sun. Isaacs was, for reasons that will hopefully become clear when the commercial airs, dressed as the sun as he spoke into the camera “If you’ve been injured by the sun you need someone who knows how to get you the money you deserve. Don’t fight the big sun by yourself, call me, Darryl Isaacs and let the Hammer fight the sun for you!”

When asked why he planned to sue the sun Isaacs said, “Kentucky is a no moon fault state, and lately we’ve been seeing a lot of literature that talks about the moon just being a hologram that’s being used by the government to control us, and you can’t sue the state, so taking action against the sun just makes the most sense financially.”

After filming a giddy Isaacs told us how excited he is about the prospects that come with this commercial, “The eclipse could be 2017’s mesothelioma.” Isaacs revealed some of his plans for the commercial, “We’re going to put up a different phone number on the screen than the one we say out loud, you know, to weed out the fakes and the frauds, I don’t represent the frauds, I represent real people. If you want to fake blindness go see [names redacted] & Hughes, that seems right up their alley.”

Isaacs cautioned, “I just want to warn everyone, don’t make your own pinhole box, because you can’t sue yourself. Or can you? Did I just discover a whole new revenue stream? I’ve gotta go write this down.”