Results from a recent market analysis show Lexington is in desperate need of more cell phone case options, and it just makes sense to offer them to people who for some reason are at the mall. Fayette Mall, Lexington’s longstanding marketplace for people that have never heard of the internet, has been a leading retailer of mobile accessories dating back to the days of such retail stalwarts as Car-Phone Bag Warehouse and Beep Outfitters. However, recently their star has faded behind other brightly shining retail centers in the overpriced shopping corridor of Nicholasville and Man O’ War.

“We do feel the main reason we’re not competitive is the lack of cell phone cover options. Currently, we only have 5 stores dedicated to exclusively selling cell phone accessories, at an unreasonable price point. Additionally, we only see 70% of other retailers offering them on some sort of weirdly out of place display rack by the register, and those numbers need improving,” explained Fayette Mall’s Assistant Cell Phone Accessory Strategist, Stella Casebrough.

“Marketplace needs should influence marketplace deeds, but right now we’re only able to offer leases,” added Casebrough, “but we are willing to be flexible, like this beautiful softback Otterbox insert.”

“We’re still getting a lot of potential customers walking around in the mall that are in our target market, but they’re also in Target’s target and Target is right next door and has much cheaper versions of the cell phone accessories we offer here.”

“Since Al Gore invented the smartphone, malls have been measured by how many cell phone case providers you have and how much cologne those providers have on,” Casebrough looked as though she was about to sneeze, “and thankfully, by that metric, we’re crushing The Summit.”