Last night, former Vice-Mayor Jim Gray saw through on his promise to relocate the city’s Confederate statues, by burying them in a pre-dug hole in the heart of downtown Lexington. While Gray initially promised to bring the plans to move the confederate statues before the City Council on Tuesday, he decided to take matters into his own hands when he remembered that city officials have already delayed the statues removal for years (for a list of all of the publicly elected members of the council that has delayed this vote and is responsible for any future votes on the issue click here). In light of recent events, many have come out supporting the mayor’s decision, however some that are often labeled as anti-equality, anti-american, and anti-dentist, still oppose the removal of confederate symbols.
Gray, leaning against a shovel in a three piece suit, pulled out a perfectly folded pocket square and dabbed it on his forehead as he explained, “Proceeding was the right thing to do. As public officials we need to stand up and speak out against hatred, or at least keep the hatred all in one place so we can make sure it doesn’t get out of hand. So why not put what many think of as symbols of hate, in a place that people have already hated for over a decade.”
The superhero in not-so-plain clothes continued, “I’ve buried these statues deep down in the earth, just like we bury our bad memories deep down inside ourselves and never speak of them again.”
While burying sadness deep within your soul might not help your mental health, Gray is confident he made the right decision for the City’s well-being, “I think it’s a fair compromise, we kept the statues downtown like we promised, and people were already flicking off the construction site, so it seemed like a natural location.”
Gray patted the earth beneath his feet with the shovel, careful not to get any of the dirt on his finely pressed suit, pulled up his pants by the waist, displaying a beautiful braided belt and said, “Some say the south will rise again, I’m guessing it’ll probably be right around the same time Centrepointe is actually completed. So to those of you wanting to visit, I promise you can see them, whenever they finish building those elevators.”