Former vice mayor Jim Gray unveiled his plan to stimulate the economy and boost morale earlier this week, and that plan includes providing access to broadband — specifically his favorite broadband, The Bangles — to rural Eastern Kentucky.

The former vice mayor, who is currently challenging Rand Paul for his U.S. senate seat, believes he is the best candidate for creating a hip party atmosphere, and he believes that the best way to do that is by bringing as many all-female rock and roll bands to rural Eastern Kentucky as possible.

“I know about creating a hip party atmosphere,” said the former vice mayor. “I grew up in a family that partied, where over time we created literally thousands of hip party atmospheres.”

Gray says The Bangles are just the beginning. He also plans to bring other high-speed broadbands to the area, including Heart, The Go-Go’s, and Sleater-Kinney. Unfortunately, some areas of Eastern Kentucky are so remote that they won’t be able to access the high-speed broadbands, so they will instead be given a slower broadband connection, like Wilson Phillips.

The broadbands will be given unlimited access to to North Lime donuts and Crank And Boom ice cream in an attempt to increase their bandwidth.

The idea was suggested to the former vice mayor by Melissa Etheridge, who also gave him his favorite braided belt.

“I’ll vote for him on one condition,” said Ashland resident Dusty Stanley. “When he brings these broadbands to this part of the state, he needs to take the Judds back with him.