As heard in the radio commercial that often plays directly after Morgan and Morgan’s “For Our Grandchildren” advert, Knockouts Haircuts For Men is “not your daddy’s barbershop.” It is, however, your stepdad Rick’s barbershop, sources confirmed this week.

“I’ve been coming here since they opened,” said Rick, a man who is clearly someone’s stepdad. “Look, their mom knew what she was getting into when she married me. Just because you’re on a diet don’t mean you can’t look at the menu,” said Rick as he stuffed a single into his hairdresser’s apron.

Sources confirmed that Knockouts is also the barbershop of the following people: that older kid Cody, the weird guy at the bus stop with that cool Slayer jacket, and, surprisingly, Joyce from human resources.

“I always pay a little extra so my haircut lasts through three songs,” Joyce from human resources told us.

Rick offered some advice to any other stepdads thinking of getting their hair cut at Knockouts.

“Don’t go during lunch. It may seem like a good deal at first, because of the free buffet, but trust me, that’s the B-team. Wait until nighttime to get the good stuff.”