Employees at Lexmark International are still trying to recover from what optimists are calling “the worst scavenger hunt anyone’s ever attempted” and pessimistic employees are calling “crimes against humanity.” The printer enterprise attempted to boost employee morale after the recent sale and split of the company by holding a fun scavenger hunt but things did not go as new CEO David Reeder had planned.

“We were just trying relax everybody, we had no idea something like this was even possible,” said a shaken and somewhat bewildered Reeder. “I mean I never really understood the technology behind laser printers, I had no idea the lasers were capable of such destruction.”

The scavenger hunt began innocently enough with some team building exercises and a “go around the room and remember everyone’s name game” that for some reason Todd from IT was having a real tough time with.  However, as soon as the scavenger hunt began, “you could tell something was amiss,” began Greg Washington’s (from accounts payable) extremely slow recounting of the events,  “it’s as if someone had planned on it derailing before it even began.” Just then we decided to find out what happened from someone else, anyone really, and grabbed Carol Simmons from sales “The original game plan for the scavenger hunt was stolen by that intern we had working here from Wake Forest, so I just kinda had to throw something together this morning.”

The first clue had Carol sending a team of fun-loving employees from research and development to check the paper tray of an “MX310de” (which we’re going to assume was some kind of printer) to find the next clue and that’s when things began to unravel. “I removed the paper jam and the entered the word on the sheet into the very user friendly touchscreen and then…” employee Bill Mullins said before he broke into tears upon reliving the horrors of that day.

“Look, things didn’t work out like we thought. There were a few more casualties than last year but all things considered, I think the scavenger hunt served it’s purpose,” Reeder said. “This event came at a considerable cost. We had to print off a map for each team and if you’ve ever purchased an ink or toner cartridge from us you know that a printing a few hundred maps means this event cost us a few hundred thousand dollars.”