As prescription pills bury the economy in Eastern Kentucky, Throwboy Tees look to reverse the damage. Former Kentucky Wildcat, New York Giant and giant purveyor of hamburgers, Jared Lorenzen, may have found a new niche for his Throwboy Tees clothing line. Conjoined twins Erin and Andrea Harrington have referred to the shirts as “the perfect fit for people with a body twice the size of your average person.”

“We’ve searched high and low for a shirt that fits our abnormal situation, but we should’ve been looking far and wide,” one of them, maybe Andrea, I don’t know, said. “But then we were sitting in the back row of the upper deck at a Kentucky Horsemen Indoor Football Game, we got one ticket for the price of two, we were there to watch their offensive line, the ‘Five Horsemen of the Ablockalypse,’ and Lorenzen chucked one up to us, it was too big to fit in the t-shirt cannon so he just threw it, and our lives have been better ever since.”

“Most of the shirts are tank tops,” the other one said. “That’s really convenient for us because we used to have to do all the sleeve removal ourselves.”

Lorenzen has been a proud promoter of our nation’s second amendment since he got into the business, believing firmly in the principles set out by our forefathers when they wrote in the Bill of Rights “suns out, guns out.”

Throwboy tees recently celebrated their first birthday. Much like post-it notes and penicillin, Throwboy tees were created by accident late one night when Lorenzen was in the lab, trying to develop a line of Throwboy parachutes. The twins hope to continue wearing Throwboy Tees in the fall when they go to college. Erin will be attending Transylvania, while Andrea will also be attending Transylvania.