With construction on CentrePointe finally starting to take shape after nearly a decade of inaction the city is collectively breathing a sigh of relief, but there is another man breathing a different, much deeper sigh of relief as he claims to have “buried a few bodies down there and now they’re finally hidden forever.”

A man who obviously wished to remain anonymous but sounded like a Kevin or a Tom or something called us from a payphone at 21c and told a tale of burying bodies in the infamous hole. “Now that CentrePointe has been paved over I can put that part of my life behind me, because if they ever decided to dig up those bodies, I know, from the pace they work at down there, that the statute of limitations would be up before they got to them. So I’m gucci.”

We meant to call the cops afterwards but the guy left pretty quickly and we didn’t really remember what he looked like, so, what are you gonna do?