Mark Stoops met with players and parents last night with another losing season just days away from kicking-off to remind everyone, “it’s all about having fun out there.” The embattled coach who’s yet to have a winning season or receive that sweet, sweet slap on the ass from AD Mitch Barnhardt letting him know he’s done good, called the meeting to ensure everyone was on the same page and fully prepared to brace themselves for the upcoming dumpster fire that will be the 2016 season. Sources say, not only was everyone not on the same page regarding the season, they weren’t even on the same page of the playbook.

“I just want to thank everyone for coming out and supporting these kids,” Stoops told the group of players and parents, “and remind everyone we gotta stick together through thick and thin. Win or lose. And trust me, there’s gonna be a lot of losing.”

Coach met with the press afterwards to address some early concerns and fumbling issues many have noted during practices.

“Yeah, we got some fumbling issues for sure that we need to address. We had a couple guys already drop the ball earlier this week when they didn’t eat lunch with that autistic kid sitting by himself at Winburn Middle School during their visit. I guess they tried but the kid waved them off saying he was waiting for basketball season to cash in on that photo op. I would’ve expected them to be more aggressive in that situation, regardless.”

Stoops started off the week in the headlines for non-football related news regarding his strict weapons policy. Some folks took exception to it including super fan, Timmy Gordon saying, “yeah, I guess he banned all his players from owning handguns. So much for having fun out there.” Gordon’s third wife Vicky added, “how can they be expected to protect themselves when they can’t even protect the freakin’ quarterback?”