Future former Vice President Mike Pence is scheduled to speak today at one of Lexington’s most storied venues, the Bryant Rent-All on Red Mile Road, Lexington’s premier location for political discourse dating back to the tent renting days of the Lincoln-Douglas debates.

Today’s one-sided open discussion had limited invitations sent out, to “leaders in the community whose businesses and employees have been adversely affected by Obamacare.” Unfortunately, all of those people were too busy working this afternoon to listen to yet another boring speech about healthcare.

With only Matt Bevin as a yes RSVP, Pence turned to the experts at Bryant’s Rent-All for help. General Manager Brian Lender explained “We’re a party rental company, it’s what we do. We have everything you would need for any size event, and we were more than happy to work out something for a guy who might accidentally become President one day soon.”

Pence, “I had no venue, no audience, and nothing even new to say, but my boss says I have to go out and cold call some people that are interested in health insurance. So I thought I’d start out here in Kentucky where I know he gets a lot of support.”

Our Vice President, who’s always been known as boring, even judging by Indiana standards continued, “It’s no secret that I struggled to get anyone to come to an event today, but in the end I was able to rent tables, chairs, audience members and a big tent for all of them to sit under, at a low low price. I’m still trying to negotiate getting my name on that happy birthday sign, I’ve always wanted to see my name up there.”

Lender added, “We’ve been able to work a lot with Republicans over the last ten years, they’ve really kept us in business since they became a ‘big tent’ party for anything that’s anti-Obama.”