After MTV saw the ratings for their reboot of Fear Factor, which premiered last week with a 2-hour episode, soar through the tarantula-covered roof, producers are chomping at the octopus bits to start filming yet another season of the legendary reality show.
Location scouts were sent to Lexington after hearing that Fayette Mall’s Food Court was recently declared a hotspot for some of the world’s most dangerous meals. “It’s like the Peddler’s Mall for stomach infections,” according to one health inspector who spoke on the condition of gastrointestinal distress. “You don’t know what you’ll find there but it will have a scant layer of hot dog water on it.”
While Yelp reviewers have long recommended the location to only the bravest of eaters, the Fayette Mall Food Court has recently seen a boost in reported issues involving foodborne illnesses.
The Lexington-Fayette Health Department has heard the complaints, and so has the savvy Fear Factor production team. They rushed to the Food Court faster than most people have to rush to the bathrooms near the Food Court.
“We’ve had contestants eat things like the eyes of horses all while lying in a pit of scorpions, but then we heard about the Fayette Mall Food Court, and now we’re gonna see some real fear,” said MTV’s new host of Fear Factor Ludacris.
“I’ll tell you what’s ludicrous… MTV not paying me to host this show,” said former Fear Factor host Joe Rogan as he drank some homemade ayahuasca from a mop bucket near the bathrooms at the mall. “Who cares about eating some spiders from a Coach bag? Don’t they realize that, on average, we humans accidentally swallow the souls of 8 aliens per year while we’re asleep? If that doesn’t factor into your fear, I dunno what will. Maybe learning the truth about yourself in a deprivation chamber.”