In an uncomfortable but necessary PTA meeting last night parents of students at the Lexington Traditional Magnet School asked administrators to change the school’s landmark curriculum, and to begin teaching subjects other than magnets.

“Look, I love magnets as much as the next person,” said Tess LaBeouf, mother of a student at LTMS. “I just think that, in addition to learning about magnets we also need to start teaching students about math and reading and stuff.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” LaBeouf continued. “I love when my kid comes home with her art projects. But I think they should learn how to do more in art class than just put the hair and beard on Wooly Willy using the magnet and those metal flakes.”

However, the administration was not ready to simply abandon the curriculum they’ve spent so many years crafting. “You know how you make magnets less effective? You pull em apart,” began magnet teacher Paul Orsides. “If you pull these kids away from magnets, they might not be attracted to them again; I mean I’ve seen ‘em flip a thousand times.”

Orsides concluded by saying, “look, we don’t want these kids to grow up like the Insane Clown Posse, wondering how magnets work. Sure, as middle aged parents you may not appreciate magnets, but as you get older you start to understand that wearing magnet bracelets can help cure you from disease and fix your arthritis. Then you’ll wish your kids had had a more magnet focused education.”