In a sad turn of events, local retailer Pieratt’s has apparently lost its Nicholasville Road store to some type of supernatural phenomenon on this Black Friday. The company slogan, “Nobody Beats Pieratt’s!”, caught up to them around 8:15am this morning after the Mount Tabor Road location could not beat the prices set forth at the Nicholasville Road location, causing a tear in the space-time continuum and thus sending the Nicholasville Road store spiraling into a parallel universe, leaving nothing behind except a big, Black Friday Hole.

“We’re supposed to have the same unbeatable prices!,” pleaded Mount Tabor’s location manager Dave Levinson, “but Cooper, the manager over on Nicholasville Road, got carried away and made his prices so low, I simply COULD NOT BEAT THEM. I mean, $129 for 50” inch flatscreen? How could he be so careless?!”

Sources say a customer brought the extremely low TV prices to the attention of the sales staff at Mount Tabor, prompting Levinson to call over to the Nicholasville Road store. From there, eye witnesses say Levinson became visibly upset, shouting into the phone “you did what?!” and “in the handbook it clearly says a Pieratt’s divided against itself cannot stand!”

One eyewitness, Neil deGrasse Tyson, said what happened next was chilling.

“Yeah, one minute he was yelling at him but then he started losing the connection or something. Started screaming, “nooooooooooo!” and “Cooper?! Cooper?! Are you there?!” But it was too late. The moment Cooper set those prices at a point this location could not beat, he had already set forth a chain of events that caused his store to slip into a parallel universe. Go look at their website, the store is already fading away like Marty McFly in a family photo.”

After 70 years of “nobody beating Pieratt’s”, it appears Pieratt’s has beat themselves. And while the loss of the long-time local business is unfortunate, the biggest tragedy resulting from the supernatural event, which created a Black Friday Hole, is now Lexington has two big holes in it.