This year’s Red White & Boom music festival will take place in Rupp Arena during the very patriotic month of . . . September. Festival scheduler Paula Waters admitted today that she may have made a mistake. “For some reason, I thought the white referred to Labor Day,” she wrote on her daughter’s Facebook comment.

Waters has made the exact same mistake every year since 2014, which was the last time the Red White & Boom festival actually happened around the Fourth of July. The Red White & Boom planning committee had no comment on being asked why they hadn’t maybe shuffled her position, or put someone with a working calendar on their smartphone in charge.

Some theorize that it is more than a recurring error. “I think something happened that year [2014] that lead them to have to change. There was a lot of weird stuff going on around then,” said public access television viewer Bill E. Guthrie. “Jamie Lynn Spears was there. And she hasn’t been seen since.”

More than just the season of the festival has changed. This is the first year that Red White & Boom won’t be at Whitaker Ball Park. The planning committee did respond to our question about why the festival has been moved indoors to Rupp Arena. “It’s in September, y’all,” they wrote in a totally professional statement, “if we wanted to be able to do it outside we’d have it July or something.”

They also mentioned that, since the event will be indoors this year, the fireworks will be on the honor system.

However, the festival might still be worth attending for country music fans, even if at an incomprehensible time of year. Officer Don announced the lineup today because he not only wants to report on traffic, he wants to tease future bad traffic to come. A sigh of relief was heard when, after 14 artists no one has heard of were listed, Toby Keith was finally announced. It was the first time anyone ever said, “Well, at least Toby Keith will be there.”

Festival legal counsel Darryl Isaacs said they were contractually obligated to have Mr. Keith because they have both red and white in the name of the festival. “If you have over 2/3rds of the American colors, you have to have Toby Keith. That’s the 30th Amendment.”