The latest escape from Blackburn Correctional Complex, taking place yesterday morning, has all of Lexington in shock and disbelief that the prison was able to go this long, 3 months and 27 days to be exact, without an escape. Even the correctional staff themselves are now admitting Blackburn is indeed easier to escape from than the Lexington Breakout games on North Ashland Avenue. The staff was able to quickly confirm this since they had just held their annual team building event at the Breakout games last week, but obviously failed to escape from their room. “The place was like Fort Knox,” said Blackburn guard Otis Boykins. “We’re talking state of the art security features like locks, doors that close all the way and a well-trained staff that seemed to care. Really the kind of stuff you only see in the movies.”

The warden held a press conference late yesterday evening to discuss the escape and upcoming plans to deter more escapes from happening every other month or so. “Look, for a minimum security facility, and I do mean minimum, to house 594….er, 593 inmates, and only let one or two slip out every three or four months, ain’t that bad.” The warden also boasted with great confidence new security measures put in place to prevent future incidents such as requiring inmates to solve some riddles and puzzles before walking out the front door in the future.

Clyde Rader, the escapee who was thrilled to be at Blackburn so he wouldn’t have to serve all of his 64 year sentence, was reported to have simply just walked away from the complex. Sources say Rader just followed the clearly marked exit signs leading out the door, thus breaking through the prison’s lone security measure, the Blackburn Honor Code.