Not to be outdone by in-state rival John Calipari’s ridiculous idea to move the SEC Tournament to November, Louisville coach Rick Pitino announced this week a proposal to move the ACC Tournament to any time before he gets fired for his negligence during his school’s prostitution scandal.

With the NCAA’s investigation into the University Of Louisville’s latest sex scandal likely to wrap up soon, Pitino feels that it makes the most sense to get the ACC tournament out of the way before his inevitable job loss.

“I know most coaches would have already been fired for having such a complete and total lack of control over their basketball programs, but here at Louisville, I feel like winning the ACC Tournament might allow me to keep my job.  So I’d like to begin the tournament as quickly as possible,” said Pitino during a press conference this week. “I’m all for playing the tournament prematurely, if it means I get to keep my job.”

Other ACC programs are admittedly skeptical of moving the tournament. Both UNC coach Roy Williams and Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim said they were against Pitino’s proposal, as they failed to see how any basketball program could fall under NCAA scrutiny to the point of job loss.

Pitino also proposed changing the shot clock from 30 seconds to 15 seconds.