Yesterday, a letter addressed to our city’s former vice mayor declared, that the state of California would not be granting an exemption from its travel ban to the city of Lexington. Subsequently, famed R&B group The California Raisins sadly announced they would have to cancel the Rupp Arena stop on their latest reunion tour. The travel ban prevents state funded travel by California officials to any state deemed to have laws that could be interpreted as anti-LGBTQ.
Earlier this week, former Vice Mayor Jim Gray sent a letter requesting an exemption be made for Lexington. A letter was sent for formal reasons and certainly not because he couldn’t remember his email password. According to city officials the purpose of the letter was in no small part because he had already purchased tickets to the show and was concerned about his weekend being ruined, regardless the request was denied his request by the California Attorney General.
The merchandising based music group had a healthy career making people want food despite looking like fecal matter sweating under the can lights in your uncle’s basement karaoke lounge. The group announced earlier this year that they would be reuniting for a world tour. “Look I’m just sayin’ if the Transformers, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and The Incredible Crash Test Dummies got a reboot and the chance at merchandising glory again, then HONEY I KNOOOOOOOW YOU’RE GONNA NEED ME…” began A.C. Raisin right before the horns kicked in.
An accompanying press release stated the raisins are, “very excited to explore the advancements that’ve been made in the world of claymation.” The tour announcement mentioned 32 tour stops across the country including Lexington’s own Rupp Arena.
Formerly valuable but now wrinkled and forgotten Kentuckian Mitch McConnell commented that he was glad he lived in DC so he could still eat raisins no problem. He keeps a box of em in his pocket all the time, despite not approving of any kind of music.
“That footloose town had it right, there is never a need for music.” The senate majority leader said in a statement, “besides, if we’re not gonna let the dancing guy run around Rupp Arena to ‘Mony, Mony’ then we sure aren’t gonna let some cosplay guy do it. Although, to be fair I did like seeing those raisins on TV back in the day, in fact, talk of this whole thing got me thinking, these raisins should actually be more involved in our healthcare plan. Everyone’s healthcare would be cheaper if they had more raisins.”
Former Vice Mayor Jim Gray was unavailable for comment at press time as staffers said he was “inconsolable” at the news of the canceled performance.