What began as a ‘fun-filled’ $186.00 ($196.00 after parking) trip to Williamstown’s Ark Encounter ended in tragedy for Kevin Gregory and his family of five. Gregory, a self-proclaimed religious skeptic, was forced to walk the plank after the teenager whose job it is to sell t-shirts and other memorabilia at the ark’s ‘non-profit’ gift shop alerted her overlord Ken Ham that there might be an atheist on board.

“I noticed that Mr. Gregory was exhibiting behavior that isn’t typical of most of the mindless parasites that usually frequent our snake-oil attraction,” said 16 year old Tiffany. “He was using science and logic, and asking the tour guide tough questions he wasn’t prepared for, like ‘where did they keep the mosquitoes and dinosaurs, or the Asians and black people?’ He also suggested that maybe the flood story was just an allegory, and that’s when Mr. Ham decided that it was time for all hands on deck.”

What took place next was almost a work of fiction, like something out of a Hollywood blockbuster, or the Bible. Kevin Gregory was blindfolded and hoisted upon the ark’s plank, an old public swimming pool diving board that was re-purposed after being donated by the city of Williamstown. He was then told to start walking.

While a majority of the patrons aboard the ark were regretting that they paid $40.00, the rest of the passengers gathered round as Kevin Gregory plummeted several feet to a certain death. However, it turns out Mr. Gregory only fell into the mouth of Ken Ham’s next project, a life-sized recreation of Jonah And The Whale.