Vice President Mike Pence is visiting Kentucky this morning; he will be speaking at More Than A Bakery, which is just a regular bakery and nothing more in Versailles. The visit is part of a tour Pence is putting together in his continual efforts to make bakeries political.

The Vice President is expected to speak on tax reform and help explain the recently passed tax cuts will help us all become as rich as elected government officials or something like that, but this reporter believes all of that explanation to be a bit of a ruse. This reporter, like probably many of you out there, have, from time to time, pretended that you needed to have a meeting with someone at a place that, conveniently, happened to sell delicious danishes, pastries, and donuts.

The event, put on by a group called America First Policies, seemed to go well, however it was hard to understand much of the tax explanation as the Vice President was loudly chewing a cheese danish through most of the explanation. He would occasionally take large swigs from a glass full of milk and the crowd would instinctively clap during the break in his talk. After finishing his third danish Pence wiped his mouth and motioned for another before secret service agents intervened saying “he’s had enough, he’s going to crash later and it will be difficult for us to get him to sleep tonight.” The only thing that was clear from the explanation was that, even if there is some sort of tax cut for bakeries, most of the people in attendance are still none the richer.

“Those of us without a bakery don’t stand to make a dime,” said one guy who I’m pretty sure actually does own a bakery.

Many media members that I spoke to are hoping that the Vice President sticks around a bit longer to do a question and answer session as, if things last a little bit longer, they’ll get to head over to Bojangles for lunch, a luxury we journalists rarely get during the day.