Donald Trump spent much of his presidential campaign and countrywide hat selling tour talking about ways to put “America First” by forcing other countries to pull their weight in deals with the United States. The President seems to be taking the first steps toward enacting his campaign rhetoric as he debates withdrawing from the ‘Paris Climate Deal;’ a deal to reduce greenhouse gas emissions signed by nearly every nation in the world, and every planet in the solar system (including Neptune which, frankly, could use some greenhouse gases). The United States would join only Syria and Nicaragua as countries that have not signed on to the agreement. However, before he makes any decisions, the President decided to consult an expert on Paris deals, Kentucky’s own Dan Cummins.

“I’m not a scientist or anything, but I kept telling him, ‘I don’t think you should walk away from this deal buddy, I don’t know the in’s and out’s of this but I can tell you that personally, I’d rather drive to Paris for any kind of deal,” Cummins said. “He kept asking, ‘are you sure?’ ‘I don’t know, I think we should withdraw.’ I said, ‘listen, let me tell you one more time exactly how I feel.'”

“I sell cars man. You want some sort of Paris climate change deal come on down, we’ve got cars with heat and A/C.” Cummins then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to sell us a 2014 Chevy Cruze.

After the call to Cummins a few other Kentuckians are expecting calls for advice on this move. “As soon as I heard talk of the President pulling out I grabbed my phone and waited for a call, kind of an expert on these things,” Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino said.